To become a truly effective psychotherapist requires many skills that you would not initially think about. For example, if you are a perfectionist this profession is probably not for you because patient treatments often appear slightly vague or woolly – a neat and tidy closure may never be possible. You may be trained well but without the human personal qualities needed you will not develop as a rounded professional. The following are some of those qualities that are vital if one is to succeed in this profession.
About Psychotherapy
Psychotherapists must exhibit tolerance and a measure of self acceptance if they are going to be able to show it to others. Those that like things to be neat and tidy will flounder, as people and personal problems do not usually fit into neat boxes. Patients, often now called clients, and their behaviour can challenge our own morals, attitudes and beliefs systems. It can be very tempting for the unaware therapist to make evaluations and judgments on the client as much as they attempt not to. The client will pick this up as time goes on the relationship can end up being just another destructive one for the client.
The lack of structure and clarity that some client’s issues will bring to the session can be very confusing and frustrating for the therapist. It may not be clear what the client needs. The client’s issues can be so overwhelming that it is hard to know where to start and it might not be clear that you are on the right path at any given time. On the other hand we may be very clear that we are on the right path and the client is telling us that they feel lost and that the therapy is going nowhere.
Artists, actors, architects and other creative professionals will see the end result of their work and feel satisfied with what they have achieved. Psychotherapy can also be very rewarding when you see your client gain more control of their lives and move on. However therapy is full of ambiguity and the perfectionist who likes matters to be unambiguous will have a frustrating time.
In essence, psychotherapists need to be fairly balanced individuals, sufficiently relaxed in their own skin and able to tolerate their own contradictions, ambivalences and inner conflicts, not to have them all dealt with but to at least be aware of them.
Listening both to Yourself and the Client
Before you can embark on listening to others it is important that you learn to listen to yourself. Treating, counselling or mentoring the client can be very demanding on the therapist. Clients will discharge a lot of negative emotion and it is vital that the therapist has a support network in which to off load these emotions otherwise they can be toxic and cause the therapist to burn out. It is good practice therefore for all psychotherapists to listen to what is happening to themselves and possibly attend their own therapist on a regular basis. Other skill sets required include:
- The ability to separate their own feelings and emotions from those of the patient, with the resilience not to be overwhelmed by the clients’ problems.
- Excellent inter personal skills such as self awareness, sensitivity and empathy to bring out of the patient those issues that are truly bothering them
- A broad-minded, non-judgemental attitude and a respect for others
- A demonstrable and genuine interest in the emotional problems faced by people
- Common sense and good intuition
- A belief in people’s inherent ability to change and develop
- An energetic and positive approach
- Team player, a sense of humour, an understanding of equality and diversity issues
- Highly developed oral and writing skills
- Able to confidentially organise and collate client information and data
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